That One Time I Cried in Zappos: A True Story

Just one of those days, I guess. I spent Friday at an academic conference where I presented a paper. And I left after my panel discussion, feeling utterly inadequate and depressed. It was just not a great experience for lots of reasons. Most of which were out of my control.

Source: wikipaintings.org via Elizabeth on Pinterest

And this is how I found myself sitting on a couch in the Zappos Outlet with Beth, trying not to cry.

Trying not to cry is totally worse than crying because you get that enormous lump behind your tongue that aches all the way up into the roof of your mouth and the more you think, Don’t cry, don’t cry, the faster the tears come spilling out of the corners of your eyes like little tiny flag-waving people screaming to everyone in the store, OMGLOOKSOMETHINGISREALLYWRONGWITHTHATGIRLSITTINGONTHECOUCHINZAPPOS!!!!!!

And the more I tried not to cry, the more obvious it became until the Zappos security guard came over with a tissue and said, “Ma’am, I’m with security. If there’s anything you need from us, you just let us know.”

The only thing that is worse than trying not to cry is trying not to cry when someone you don’t know is nice to you while you’re trying not to cry.

Dear, sweet, Zappos security guard, can you please make a hole open up in the middle of the Zappos store and swallow me up so that I can cry sad, stupid tears all over my sad, stupid face without worrying about my mascara running or my glasses fogging up?

The moral of the story is…sometimes we have bad days? I don’t know. There’s no moral. Although, I’m pretty sure it should be illegal to cry in Zappos. The deals are just too good. And no one is even paying me to say that.

love, elizabeth