Alright, time for another serious relationship question. Kyle and I had this talk in the car the other day. Am I the only one who gets SUPER ANNOYED when their spouse or partner says, “I don’t care”?
“What do you want for dinner?”
“I don’t care.”
“Do you want to go see that movie?”
“I don’t care.”
“Which kind of laundry detergent should I buy?”
“I don’t care.”
And yes, I realize that about 93% of the time you say, “I don’t care,” you actually mean that you don’t care.
Here’s the thing. I DON’T CARE!!! I don’t care that you don’t care. You need to care. I want you to care. When you say you don’t care, I don’t hear “Gee, honey, I don’t really have an opinion either way so since this decision is more important to you, why don’t you go ahead and choose?” I hear, “The outcome of this decision is not worth the effort it takes to land on one side of the fence or the other and so therefore, I abstain from caring.”
And quickly, let’s address the other 7% of the time when you actually do care but tell me you don’t. That’s my move, by the way. I never don’t care. So when you fake don’t care, I can totally tell. This brand of not caring usually comes in the middle of a fight (it doesn’t matter who’s winning). This kind of not-caring is also super hurtful because I know you know that I want you to care.
In conclusion, please care. I care. I want you to care. And if you don’t, if you really, really don’t, if you have to fake it…fake it. If I say, “Do you like the teal or red cardigan better?”, just. freaking. pick. one. (Yes, I know that you know that I know I’m going to pick the one you didn’t. It’s part of my process! Go with it.)
CARING IS SHARING. HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING FROM THE CARE STARE??
Alright, thoughts? Does this happen at your house?
love, elizabeth
I couldn't agree more!! My fiance does this all of the time! I cannot say I am not guilty of it myself... but A lot of times when he says he doesn't care then I suggest something he doesn't like.. its like obviously you do care! Its something I am trying to work on myself though...
ReplyDeleteYES! I hate that response. However I usually get "I don't know, what do you want to eat?" Or "I don't know, do you want to see a movie?" BAHHH If I knew I wouldn't have asked you. It drive me bat crazy. For serious.
ReplyDeleteThat's soo me!! Ew, right? To be honest, it exemplifies me in the most extreme moments of laziness. So if it happens, my husband just stares at me until I realize I'm doing it. Honestly, my opinion is it's just a bad habit!
ReplyDeleteUGH the "I don't care" kills me!!! It's SO annoying. Like, have an opinion why don't you?!
ReplyDeleteGAH I hate this!!!! It is a horrible response. If I'm *asking* you, don't dismiss my question! MAKE IT UP!!
ReplyDeleteExcited to keep perusing your blog, lovely :)
xo
All.the.time! I mean, I'll pull this card only when I'm super annoyed/upset. When that happens you better realize it and solve the problem quickly. I hate when my boyfriend will only tell me "i don't care." Then, when I tell him to just give me an opinion he says "Really, babe, I don't care. Just decide something." Ugh...men.
ReplyDeleteshi-day.blogspot.com
BAHAHA!!!! I LOVE THIS POST!!!! Garrett and I go through this all the time and I must admit that I am super guilty of saying "I don't care, but I actually really do, but for some absurd, unknown reason, I am incapable of formulating and expressing an opinion"
ReplyDeleteI am going to text you a picture Garrett found online depicting this exact issue.
PS how did I not know that FOB has a new album??????