Guest Post: Ashley from Recipe for Sanity

My blogger’s heart is extra full this morning because it knows that while I am in Louisville getting ready for the wedding, you all are getting to talk with one of my favorite bloggers on the world wide web, Ashley. Ashley keeps one of the most genuine, sincere, and down-to-earth blogs I have read and she writes with such kindness and grace, that it’s difficult not to love her immediately! Also, she often shares her many amazing and easy recipes. Make sure to go visit her at Recipe for Sanity and say hello! I promise you’ll love her.

When Elizabeth first asked me to guest post, I had trouble connecting my image of Rob and I with the word “adventure”. After all, we’re not exactly the cliff diving, zip-lining type. We get our adventure from movies and trying a new entrée on a restaurant menu, not from hanging upside-down by a bungee cord. Yet after talking things over with Rob, I realized that in five years together, we have had some real adventures and challenges in our relationship. Moving in together was unquestionably the biggest adventure of all.

The move itself was a hot mess. One would think that moving from a one-bedroom unit to a two-bedroom in the same complex would be the easiest move possible. Not so, my friends. Not only were the movers sloppy and late to arrive, they created a large hole in our bedroom door (heart-shaped, ironically), which they refused to take responsibility for until much later. There was also the shower curtain rod that hit me in the face, and the shower head that came out of the wall in my hand…all in the same night. Or the washer that was improperly installed and flooded the whole kitchen, leaving me ankle-deep in water, sobbing about how I couldn’t handle one more thing happening with this move. Yet what Rob and I did not know was that leaking washers and faulty shower heads would be the easiest thing for us to handle. Moving in together was the real challenge.

You woke me up when you came to bed last night.

Well YOU left the dishes in the sink.

Why don’t you EVER take out the garbage?

These were the type of arguments we had on a regular basis. Prior to moving in together, we rarely fought. Once we shared an apartment, however, we started disagreeing on the smallest, least important issues. Being of Latina/Italian descent, I naturally made the most noise about it. My way of expressing my anger was to cry, sulk on our bed, or slam a door. The slamming door phase ended quickly, after that heart-shaped hole cut my hand. Served me right. Rob is a lot calmer and more passive, so he preferred to get defensive (quietly), shut me out, or sit in silence while I rattled off my laundry list of reasons for being angry with him. I found myself wondering if we had made the right choice, if all of this arguing meant that we weren’t the couple we thought we were.

If I could go back in time and talk to the girl I was then, I would tell her that this was an adventure. The challenges, the painful moments…those were growing pains. We weren’t falling apart; we were coming together as a family. I was so frustrated because I was learning to put Rob and our relationship at the top of my list, instead of always thinking about myself. I was learning to stick it out through the tough times, and that always being right was not as important as our love for one another. Three years after our move, I know now these things to be true. Because we had that challenging time in our relationship, we now know that we can make it through anything, and that giving up is not an option. That adventure laid the foundation for what we have today: a love story that I never dreamed could be mine. I wouldn’t change a thing.

- Ashley

Told you she was great. Don’t forget to head over HERE and say hi. Thanks so much, Ashley, for taking care of the blog while I’m away!

love, elizabeth

PS: Tune in tomorrow for another guest post about adventure from…(you’ll have to come back and see!)