Sunday, May 8, 2011

Love is a Habit

Kyle and I spent a much-needed Sunday together being Columbus-y. After a wonderful church service in the morning, we hit up the Spring Flea, a Short North open air-market that mostly sells vintage clothes, jewelry, and music from local businesses. Booth fees for the flea market benefit the Mid-Ohio Foodbank. I found those sweet (or as Kyle would say, “ugly”) glasses frames. Whatever. I’m a product of my generation.

After lunch, we went to one of our bookstores, Half Price Books to find some fun summer reading. As you can see from the pictures, Kyle (the deep one) ended up with The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis and I (the guilty-pleasure one) found a biography on Marilyn Monroe.

We spent the rest of the day at Park of Roses. The gardens aren’t really flowering yet but the weather was gorgeous and the sun felt great. Kyle, naturally, used his super-sonic hearing to detect the only ice cream truck in a fifty-mile radius. We crashed on a blanket under a tree and did some reading. This was heavily interrupted by Madigan’s need to loudly inform us when any number of dangers might be happening by. These dangers might or might not have included: other dogs, other people, small children in strollers, joggers, bicycles, squirrels, a leaf….and so on. It was pretty much glorious.

A lot of today was prompted by a conversation Kyle and I had last night. Without getting into the complexities of it all, I will say here that Kyle’s job is on the third-shift which puts him at work from midnight to eight am five nights a week. It’s been this way for almost two years. And while we are again and again struck by the provision of God, it has not been easy to spend the majority of our nights apart. And lately, well…it’s taken its toll on our relationship. We have been short with each other, cranky, moody, impatient…last night we talked about how this pattern had almost become a habit for us, a defense mechanism for the stuff we’re facing in the outside world. And we agreed that loving each other is another kind of habit, responding with love and gentleness takes practice. We cannot spend 29 out of the 30 days of the month on edge with one another and expect for that 30th day to be loving. Kindness is a habit. Love (the verb) is a habit. Hard lesson being learned and I’m thankful for it.

Today was a gift.

6 comments:

Zoey said...

WONDERFUL post. Love it! Can't wait to check out the flea market and park of roses, both of which I hadn't heard of until now!

Good for the both of you that your lines of communication are still in tact despite the cranky, moody, impatient-ness as of late. SO so important. Sounds like despite the hardships, you two are staying strong at the base levels which is the best thing possible.

Let's do a double date like this some time soon!

Sarah (Not Her Real Name) said...

Kyle, you're wrong. Elizabeth's glasses are awesome. Also, I disagree that love is a habit. Love is a drug. Specifically, your love is my drug. That's what Ke$ha says. I take all of my advice from her. I can't wait until she writes a book. I realize that's contingent on her learning how to read first, but I have faith that she'll come through for me. She always has before. We R who we R, Elizabeth. Just saying.

Anonymous said...

loving each other is always a choice--each a.m. and p.m. 33 years w/the same person practicing this way: do you want to be w/me again today? i want to be w/you again today. and then we ACT like we mean it--work like hell to make it come true again today. committed relationships are hard always hard hard work. ahh. so worth it. (almost always)
marilyn monroe--the one by norman mailer? magmapoet

Marlee said...

Awww! And I agree, love is absolutely a habit. I'm a grad student finishing a Master's in Pych (specifically counseling) and I think it's absolutely a habit.

Side note, the number one thing couples who stay together have in common? They are polite to each other. Say please and thank you and such.

You guys sound like you're on the right track. Great post, I loved it!

Janet @ Made For This said...

I am so thankful thankful thankful thankful. To God be the glory, great things He has done! Your relationship is a gift from Him and i am grateful, grateful! And your life is a great inspiration! Keep having fun! I love my kids. Mama

Hannah {Culture Connoisseur} said...

I've always wanted to read the screwtape letters. Can you believe I've never read a cs lewis book? I know....GASP!

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