Dear Readers,
You know that saying, an apple a day keeps the doctor away? Well, somebody get me a freaking apple because I don’t ever want to see another doctor again as long as I live!
No one likes going to the vet, am I right, pets? It’s basically the most uncomfortable things all rolled into one. There’s that cold table (whose genius idea was THAT?) and that room that smells like other animals and strangers peeking in your ears and eyes and mouth (total invasion of privacy).
But yesterday I had to go for my yearly check-up. And no matter how many times I said, Guys, I’m totally fine. There is no need to put that thermometer there… no one listened. Oh, yeah, and I got a look at the bill when it fell out of Mom’s purse. Here’s a list of things that were apparently “necessary” for my general health:
- 3 Year Rabies Vaccination (as if).
- Distemper/Parvo/AV2/Para Vaccines (exactly what kind of dog do you think I am?)
- Bordatella Intranasal 6 Mo (yes, please tell me that in six months, you’re going to shove something else up my nose)
- Heartworm test (which totally included having BLOOD removed from my BODY! Is anyone else okay with that because I really am NOT.)
- Pretreat Injection (this was apparently because I had a “reaction” to one of the other bajillion needles they stuck me with…gee, there’s a surprise)
- Fecal for Intestinal Parasites (um, this one is exactly as fun as it sounds)Mom, I think you’ve been taken to the cleaners but that’s just one pomeranian's humble opinion.
I am happy to report to my many fans and friends that I have been given a clean bill of health (except that I apparently need to lay off the dog biscuits and take some extra walks…What? I like to eat…can I get an ‘amen’?)
Oh, funny story. Apparently, Daddy was informed this morning by HIS vet that he has “shingles.” Whatever that means. I’m pretty sure someone’s screwing the pooch on this one, though, because DAD gets little white treats from a bottle for 10 whole days and what do I get? A new Rabies tag. Whoop-de-doo.
At least the vet techs are as fashion conscious as I am. Note the hot pink bandage where I had blood drawn. And look, it’s the dude with shingles!
Keepin’ it real,
The Madster
