“There’s a crosswalk here…” and other things I finally had to say

A couple of weeks ago, I was walking across the street when I was almost struck by a car. I don’t mean in the funny haha exaggerating kind of way that I normally blog. I was seriously almost hit by a car. It was less than a foot from my femur when I heard the brakes squeal and I looked up at two blank-faced individuals who had been, up until that moment, speeding through campus and now looked right at me like I might be one of those Looney Toon-style mirages that Daffy Duck is always seeing in the middle of deserts. Part of me thought I should let it slide. After all, they didn’t hit me. They weren’t the first drivers to ignore a crosswalk. Who hasn’t made a mistake like that? Another, bigger, louder part of me did not agree. Guess who won.

“There is a crosswalk here!” I shouted, gesturing dramatically at the boldly white painted lines beneath my feet. I stood there in the middle of the road for another 5-8 seconds, giving the most serious death-glare I could manage at the driver who was now staring with fascination at his steering wheel, his glove compartment, and rearview mirror. Slightly ruffled but with as much quiet dignity as I could muster, I walked deliberately the rest of the way across, thinking maybe I had overreacted. Maybe.

But here’s the thing. I’m not sure I did.

One of the things I have been recently realizing is that I let all kinds of things slide. I think that’s actually probably a pretty good thing. Pick your battles, says my mom/your mom/every mom ever. They’re right. There’s no point in getting your back up about every little thing that happens.

But I’ve noticed that lately I’d been letting things slide because I have somehow felt that I didn’t have the right to say that I didn’t like what was going on. I didn’t like feeling bullied or attacked every time I posted a status on Facebook, for example. Side note: I can’t be the only person who’s noticed that Facebook seems to have become the breeding ground for the unsolicited argument. If I posted that the sky was blue, three people would observe that I didn’t mention how fluffy the clouds were, two would berate me for not also commenting on smog levels, and one person would just flat out disagree (“Actually, Elizabeth, the sky is more of a cerulean depending upon the time of day and your relative latitude/longitude. Here’s a link to an article: www.iamrightyouarewrong.website.net”). And all I had set out to do was say that the sky was blue. When did Facebook stop being a place to stalk your ex-boyfriend, untag yourself in hideous college pictures, and start becoming a place where the mere presence of a Facebook status requires some seal of approval or systematic vetting/debunking by any and every person you have ever friended online? It’s not that I can’t debate well. I can hold my own. But that’s not why I’ve kept my Facebook account for this long. I started to notice how angry and tense just logging in was making me. I had, seemingly, four choices: 1) Argue back. 2) Let it slide. 3) Unfriend a lot of people/delete my account. 4) Just say directly what I had been really wanting to say. I noticed that I was letting a lot of people run right over the crosswalk. Facebook was starting to feel like a bizarre warzone which I kept willingly entering, hoping no one would engage me in battle. It’s a horrible feeling.

So I went with 4. I decided to just go ahead and SAY exactly how I wanted to be treated. Do you want to see what I said?

I hate passive aggressive FB statuses as much as the next girl so I'm going to be as straightforward about this as possible. I am only keeping my Facebook account to stay in touch with my favorite people, the people I love, love, LOVE, to see the pictures of their cute babies and celebrate their many joys and life successes. I'm not interested in having one more political/ideological//intellectual debate via Facebook. Have something you need to say to me? Get on a plane and come see me. Call me on the phone. Skype me. You might disagree with me. "That's not fair, Elizabeth. You can't post things if you don't want people to respond to them honestly!" Guess what? I don't care. Don't like it? Unfriend me. Bam.

Do I always get it right? Am I always one hundred percent fair when it comes to my online or real-life interactions? Heck, no. Somehow, though, this little thing – this calling a crosswalk a crosswalk – makes me feel more emotionally safe. I feel like I have taken charge of creating some safe space for myself in a world that is not always so safe.

What about you? Do you have a crosswalk you need to call a crosswalk?

love, elizabeth

A Woman With Facial Hair Is Beautiful

Photo credit

I was kind of having a self-hate day. It was one of those days where I could only notice the bumps and bruises on my skin, the seeming lumpiness of my thighs, the way my head and shoulders appear to connect without any kind of neck between them, the roundness of my cheeks, the planetary-size of my forehead, the shortness of my toes, the unevenness of my eyebrows, the number on the scale, the tiredness in my eyes. I was making a list like this one and I began brainstorming a list of physically transformative tasks I could complete to become less hideous. Lose weight, moisturize, take vitamins, go on a juice fast, run two miles a day, color my hair, re-think my wardrobe, dress for my body-type, work on confidence, take yoga, cut out carbohydrates and processed food, become a vegetarian, destroy all mirrors in the universe.

And then, this article popped up on my homepage and, suddenly, I felt this deep sense of security and peace. This is what Balpreet Kaur wrote about the importance of beauty and purpose in life after being targeted and attacked for her personal appearance: “Yes, I'm a baptized Sikh woman with facial hair. Yes, I realize that my gender is often confused and I look different than most women….My attitude and thoughts and actions have more value in them than my body… by not focusing on the physical beauty, I have time to cultivate those inner virtues and hopefully, focus my life on creating change and progress for this world in any way I can."

I need to be friends with this woman. This is the kind of honest challenge I needed. Sometimes I look in the mirror or I compare myself with others and my values get jumbled. I am once again reminded that so much of our culture defines beauty by an external (and, in most cases, unrealistic) standard.

I titled this post provocatively in hopes that people might read it but the fact is, Balpreet’s life is not about being beautiful IN SPITE of her facial hair. I honestly believe that Balpreet redefines what it means to be beautiful, to be feminine, to be powerful and important and genuine. I am interested in that kind of beauty. I encourage you to make your own list of what makes you beautiful. Just imagine what might happen if we started defining ‘beautiful’ not as what we want to be, but by what we already are.*

love, elizabeth

*I am not the first person to say that, by the way, so if anyone remembers who said that best, let me know.

Look what Elizabeth learned today

When I was a little girl, my mom kept a magnet on the fridge that said, “Look what Elizabeth learned today!” Sitting in the office at school earlier today, staring at the magnets on my desk, and making a mental list of all the ways I failed this week, I remembered that suddenly. And I thought how nice it was that that magnet never said, “Look what Elizabeth was perfect at today!” and better…”Look what Elizabeth totally screwed up today!” 

So in honor of my mom and that magnet, here are some things I learned (or re-learned) this week:

1. Sometimes it feels like the only thing keeping me upright are the breaths I take between things. Sometimes the breaths need to be extra-deep.

2. It can be difficult to reserve judgment about new things and new people. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try.

3. I can look up to someone without having to become them.

4. It’s really important to be authentically, completely me.

5. I don’t have anything to prove. My worth is inherent.

6. So I can be transparent and flawed and transparent about being flawed because it’s okay for other people to see that.

7. I can give myself away without giving myself away. Know what I mean?

 

So share with me. What are you learning, re-learning, knowing in a new way as this week draws to a close?

love, elizabeth

no one is tiny

The other day I had an encounter with a younger student in my department. When she realized that the group of people around her were all PhD students, she looked embarrassed and immediately blurted out, “I feel so tiny. I’m just an undergrad.” It was a little moment but it touched me and it’s been lodged in my brain ever since.

I immediately blurted something back that made my friends at the table laugh and start teasing me about sounding like a greeting card.

“No one is tiny,” I said. “We’re all on a journey.”

And okay…yeah…Hallmark should just start paying me now. But I totally meant it. I think back to a year ago, two years, five years, ten years and I wonder what would have happened to me if the people I looked up to then had treated me like I was tiny. What if they hadn’t been so patient with me? What if they hadn’t given me the opportunity to grow and to change in my own way, in my own time? Would I be here? I am just so grateful for all the teachers and mentors and friends who have never made me feel tiny. It’s a good reminder for me. No one is tiny.

We’re all on a journey.

That’ll be 3.95 plus tax but you get the envelope for free.

 

I was going to kill two birds with one stone and tell you where I got my outfit but then I realize it’s all thrifted or vintage. So…that would be unhelpful to you.

And hey, Michelle from Making Sense of Cents won the giveaway from Katie for Thought! Michelle, I will be sending you an email later today. Congratulations! Want to check out more of Katie for Thought’s hand-painted creations? Go check out her Etsy shop here. And for a limited time, she is offering Love is the Adventure readers a 10% discount. Just enter the coupon code ADVENTURE1 at check-out.

Wishing you a good-luck Monday. You are not tiny.

love, elizabeth

If You Really Knew Me, At All

My childhood best friend, Jenni, did a post like this when she was inspired by her friend Kristin and you all know how I like a good bandwagon so…here I am, hopping aboard.

If you knew me really well, you’d know that…

I’m a total clothes-horse.  Like straight up addict.

But I’m also a thrift-store junkie. So that helps. (Or at least, this is what I tell my husband when he looks at my closet.)

I am really critical of my own appearance. I have had a hard time accepting my body or my shape or my face. I want to believe good things about the person I’ve been created to be but I struggle. A lot.

I worry about everything. In fact, the times that I DON’T worry are of such great significance that I usually celebrate them and promptly spiral into a new round of worry about why I’m not worried and about what I must be forgetting to remember to worry about.

I am a lover of God. My faith-walk can be shaky sometimes but my belief in Him never is. God is good all the time. All the time God is good.

I put ketchup on almost everything. It’s a running joke in my family.

I wish I was braver. Or tougher. Or some combination of the two.

I have been known to dumpster dive for furniture. Although, there has been no actual Diving Into a Dumpster. It’s more like Diving NEXT to a Dumpster. In fact, except for an armchair and our sofa, nothing in the house was purchased new. And if our apartment looks more like a flea market than the inside of a magazine, I guess that’s okay.

I love to go to the movies. It’s the luxury I most enjoy. I look forward to the trailers almost as much as the actual film.

Sometimes on long car trips, I pretend I’m in a music video. … Shut up. Don’t look at me with that tone of voice.

When I don’t want to do something, I imagine how I could possibly write a blog post on the topic and it makes it easier. Blogging has forced me to try new things so that this blog doesn’t get stale. That feels like a life metaphor but I’ll let someone else connect those dots. If you know…they want to.

I would do literally anything for my friends. I think loyalty is more important than neutrality and that has cost me relationships. And I don’t care. I’d rather stand up for one friend than have a hundred thousand more.

I love to spend time with other people but the second I’m alone, I obsess over the interactions we had. Was I annoying? Did I talk too much? Did that person feel cared about? I think this makes me a good friend and conversationalist but I don’t trust myself and I don’t let down my guard very easily. I almost always feel like a burden to others.

I cannot wait to be a parent. But I have to wait. And that’s hard, too.

I want to be a tidy, organized person. But I am often messy and scattered.

Sometimes when I get Kyle’s voicemail, I sing songs that I made up on the spot. I think he likes it.

Your turn. I’d love to know more about you!

love, elizabeth

5 Ways to Conquer Stress

Today I’m presenting at a conference in Kentucky which means…I am far away from my baby blog. In my absence, my dear blog-friend Ashley has come over to share her expertise as a counselor with all of us….leave her some love, please. And be sure to check out her blog, A Recipe for Sanity for great cooking tips, thoughts on learning to love herself, and life with her sweet guy…Ashley is on my regular reading list for a reason. If you haven’t met yet, I’ll think you’ll LOVE her!

………………..

Like all of you, I wear many hats. I work full time; I’m a master’s student in Marriage and Family Therapy (which means they’ve actually unleashed me on real people with real problems!), and I’m also a partner to Rob, the most incredible guy on the planet. You can see how sometimes things get a bit hectic.

I’ve realized over the years the importance of taking care of myself so that I can take care of others. Without self-care, I wind up sitting in the corner, crying and eating my hair. (Okay, maybe not exactly like that, but just talk to Rob. He’ll tell you it’s pretty close!) The lovely Elizabeth has asked me to share with you five ways to manage stress and take care of yourself, so here goes:

1. Pamper Yourself: Do something calming for both your mind and your body. This could be anything that relaxes you, and it doesn’t have to cost much, if anything at all! I’m a grad student, so I don’t always have the money to go out and get a pedicure or a massage. But I’ll pamper myself by giving myself a home pedicure, or using a face mask that makes me look like a member of the Blue Man Group. I’ll light a candle, take a long shower, and relax with a television show or movie that only I enjoy. Moments like this that are just for me really help me to manage stress and feel more balanced.
2. Move It!: I am so guilty of putting this on the back burner, but finding a physical activity that you enjoy is huge in managing stress. It could be anything you like: a run in your favorite park, a yoga class with a friend, or a zumba video you got from the library. Even if you go outside just to enjoy nature and look around, it’s great for your mind and body and will reduce your stress level. If you’re like me and you’re always putting the other things on your to-do list before this, schedule it in!
   

   Source: itsfitnessbaby.blogspot.com via Ashley on Pinterest

3. Eat Something (But Not Just Anything!): I notice that when I’m really busy and stressed, I tend to grab for the first thing I can eat quickly. The problem with that is that those meals are usually not what my body needs to feel energized and ready to face a long day. Lately, I’ve been making more of an effort to have healthy foods on hand, like pieces of fruit and yogurts I can just grab from the fridge. I know we’ve all heard it before, but I’ve noticed that when I’m getting the kind of nutrition my body needs to power through a 14+ hour day, I feel so much better. As tempting as it is, don’t skip meals because you’re too busy, and plan ahead so that you are eating delicious foods that support your crazy-busy lifestyle!
4. Rant If You Need To: I’m serious: I believe in the therapeutic power of venting to friends, on your blog, to your cat…whatever works for you. Holding negative emotions in is only going to increase the blow-up when you finally lose it later (or am I just talking about myself?). When you have a bad day, tell someone about it or do something physical (kickboxing class, perhaps?) to express your emotions.
   

   Source: someecards.com via Ashley on Pinterest

5. Get Some Sleep: I know, I know. You’ve heard this one before. The busier you are and the more stress you have, the less sleep you might be getting each night. Everyone tells you to get those 8 hours, but I know firsthand that it doesn’t always work that way. Still, get as much sleep as you can. Try to unwind before bed with a book or other relaxing activity. Make sleep a priority so that you can get the rest you need to conquer another busy day and keep your stress levels down.

- Ashley

 

Source: mylifecoachsparkles.blogspot.com via Ashley on Pinterest

 

See what I mean? Ashley needs to be MY counselor! Go here to check out her blog.

What about you? What ways do you manage stress for yourself?

love, elizabeth

Celebrate Everything

Source: boostyouresteem.tumblr.com via Elizabeth on Pinterest

 

1. My brand new sun lamp (post to follow). What up, Seasonal Affective?

2. Holding an actual second folio of William Shakespeare in my hands (published circa 1632). Magic.

3. Getting a haircut. My bangs are thanking me.

4. Losing 4.6 pounds this week! I do not even know how that happened but I almost cried when I saw the scale at Weight Watchers.

5. Kyle. I came home from school tonight to a spotless house and two baskets of clean, folded laundry. All of which he did today on his one day off this week. It was such a selfless act of service on his part and I was so humbled by his thoughtful gift to me. I want so badly to be the kind of woman he deserves but on days like today, I feel like I fall so short. And he loves me, anyway. Wow.

6. A really encouraging meeting with my faculty advisor. I have been feeling nervous about my candidacy exam in the fall but now I’m just so excited to start reading officially!

It was a week to celebrate and I’m so thankful.

Source: sweetiepiepumpkinnoodle.com via Elizabeth on Pinterest

 

What about you? What are you celebrating this week?

love, elizabeth

I Am Not A Robot

It has been a long, long ten weeks. And I am exhausted. Tonight as I look around my messy apartment and think of all the things I should be doing…I am choosing to recognize my human-ness and just take a breather.

Which makes me think of this song. Feeling like a robot? I dedicate this song to you.



Tomorrow I have this little thing called jury duty. It’s no big. I’m just gonna go in there and lay some justice down. You know how it is. Also, I’ve been told jurors get free wifi. If this is the case, expect mundo blogging.

What is Monday bringing you?

love, elizabeth

Go Look In A Mirror

I got this text from Kyle a few nights ago and thought it might be a reminder that lots of us need:

Go look in a mirror. Point and say, ‘There is someone out there who will love you till the end of time.’

Source: victorianalbum.blogspot.com via Elizabeth on Pinterest

 

Well, what are you waiting for? Go look in a mirror!

love, elizabeth

Today, please remember…

Your heart is a place of both incredible strength and unbelievable vulnerability. Remember to treat it kindly.

If the day goes horribly awry, if nothing turns out as it should, if you make a mistake, consider the things that truly last forever…and the rest will fade away.

You are capable of great things. But the small things matter, too. So  if all you accomplish today is to make someone smile, then your time was well-spent.

You are beloved. You matter.

I needed to remind myself of this today…how about you?

love, elizabeth

Freedom to Fail

Last night I was reading this post from Ashley over at A Recipe for Sanity. Ashley is such a kind, thoughtful, deep-well of a person and I always love reading what’s going on in her life. When she talked about feeling overwhelmed and praying honest prayers, I was reminded of the peace that comes from having an honest conversation with God.

I tend to be a perfectionist and so when it comes to the many things that take up my time, I get into this mindset: If I can’t do it perfectly, I can’t do anything, at all. I become paralyzed with my need to BE PERFECT. The problem is, and I know you’re shocked, I will never be perfect.

Last Sunday, one of the youth directors at our church spoke about living in God’s grace. It gives us room to live, “freedom to fail,” she said.

 

Source: motherlanddesign.blogspot.com via Kyle on Pinterest

 

I get pretty caught up with my desire to do things perfectly. And I am pretty unkind to myself when I don’t measure up. I have to ask myself, does this really matter? Does it matter if I get perfect grades or have a spotless home or impress every person I meet? Do I always have to know the answer? Does everyone have to like me? Can I make a mistake? Can I make a bad decision and just choose to learn from it? Will the world really end if I don’t “get it right?”

So this month, with grad school starting again and classes and work and all the pressures that come with that, I am choosing to remember I have been given the freedom to fail, to not measure up, to fall down and get up again.

 

Source: louboosandshoes.blogspot.com via Kyle on Pinterest

 

What about you? Is it difficult for you to give yourself permission to be less than perfect? Do you have a story about feeling freedom to fail?

love, elizabeth

Be Kind to Yourself: The Little Girl You

Source: tumblr.com via Kyle on Pinterest

I can't take credit for today's post really. It comes from a conversation I had with a mentor, a woman I really look up to. We were having a pretty intense conversation about the personal struggles and pain in our lives (and I know we all have that, on some level) and I expressed my feelings of sadness and fear to her. I felt worn out and broken. Unsure of myself.

Her face grew concerned and she said, "Sometimes you have to take care of the little-girl-Elizabeth, you know? Sometimes you have to comfort the little girl inside of you who can't handle all this really hard stuff. So you put her in a safe place and you tell her that you'll go take care of all the big, scary grown-up stuff and you'll come back. You can help protect that part of you."

I'd honestly never thought of it that way. And maybe it's just one way of looking at the stressful, frightening things we experience but it's certainly been comforting to me. When I feel overwhelmed, I can tell the younger, more vulnerable me that I will be the grown-up and she doesn't need to come along for the hard part. For me, it's become another way to be kind to myself. To keep myself emotionally safe in the worst moments.

All of this reminds me of a prose poem/story I heard a long time ago by Sandra Cisneros called Eleven in which she talks about being eleven. My favorite bit goes like this...

"What they don’t understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you’re eleven, you’re also ten, and nine, and eight, and seven, and six, and five, and four, and three, and two, and one. And when you wake up on your eleventh birthday you expect to feel eleven, but you don’t. You open your eyes and everything’s just like yesterday, only it’s today. And you don’t feel eleven at all. You feel like you’re still ten. And you are—underneath the year that makes you eleven."

 

Source: weheartit.com via Kyle on Pinterest

What about you? What are YOU doing to be kind to yourself today?

love, elizabeth

PS: And the giveaway will open TOMORROW!!! Be sure to check back in in the morning to enter! Clue #5: I really like it so if no one wants it, I'm totally keeping it.

Be Kind to Yourself: Theme Songs

Does anyone remember sexy, single lawyer, Ally McBeal? Besides being one of my favorite shows in a category I like to call GirlTV, Ally was one of the most musical shows on television. Ally and the other lawyers often imagined elaborate musical numbers being performed in and out of the courtroom. In one of the most iconic scenes in the entire series, Ally dances with a CG baby that represents her biological clock.

In one of my favorite Ally McBeal episodes, Ally starts therapy with the wack-a-doo, Dr. Tracey who encourages her to do something very important...



I searched for a clip of Ally dancing to her theme song on a busy street but the internet has failed me. Below, I've included a few songs, including "Tell Him" (which is Ally's song) that I seriously have danced to in public.

If you haven't tried this, grab your ipod, your mp3, your walkman, your discman, or do what Ally does and hear the music in your head. Pick a public place - the grocery store, the mall, or my personal favorite, a city sidewalk. Press play. Don't think about anyone. Just dance, walk, swagger, whatever. Did I mention the more annoyingly cheerful/cheesy the song is the better it works? I tried this two days ago walking across campus. I can't remember the last time I smiled that much.

Do. It. I triple dog dare you.

Look. This guy did...



What have you done this week to make yourself smile? What's YOUR theme song?


love, elizabeth

Be Kind to Yourself: The Weight of It All

via Pinterest

You know the saying, 'I'm rubber and you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you'? Yeah. I hate that saying.


This is actually kind of a hard post to write. But I think it's important because I was inspired by a guy at the pool yesterday who I overheard telling his friends how fat he thought I was. Of course, I immediately felt embarassed and hurt. My first reaction was to think, I should leave. I don't belong here. I want to go home.


Maybe it's a sign of my own personal growth that I didn't completely fall apart or shut down. I'm kind of surprised that it didn't hurt more. Maybe it's because I know that I am beautiful. Maybe it's because I'm positive that stranger's comments had a lot more to do with something going on inside of him than they had to do with me.


Lately, I have been so inspired by some interviews with one of my favorite singers, Grammy Award winner, Adele Adkins. Not surprisingly for the entertainment industry, Adele is constantly receiving questions and criticism about her weight. "My aim in life is never to be skinny," she said once. And later, in Rolling Stone, "[T]hat's not what my music is about. I don't make music for eyes. I make music for ears." I find her confidence and obvious joy in who she is so refreshing. It gives me hope for my own self-image.


But I am learning that part of being kind to myself is letting the worst things, the unkind things, pass through me, not letting them stay inside of me, festering, putting down roots. It's silly for us to think that we can deflect the hurtful things people say about us. The human heart feels pain. And that's okay. I am giving myself permission to feel pain but to let the poison in those words fall away.


This post really isn't about fat or skinny. It's about caring for yourself. Because our worth cannot be tied up in how we look or what we wear or own. Worth is inherent in you and in me. Worth is in the soul. I hope today you will find a minute to be kind to your soul. Like Adele says, "I don't have a hole in my soul!"

ADELE

Source: aheartisaspade.com via Lynn on Pinterest

PS: I have jumped on the Bloglovin' bandwagon. So if you are a Bloglovin' person, feel free to follow Love is the Adventure there. You can click the link above or the widget on the sidebar.


Also, today is the LAST day to enter the Teeny-Tiny Spa Giveaway! It's easy to enter - just be an official follower of this blog and comment telling me that you are. You can earn a second chance to win if you follow me on Twitter and then tweet to let me know. I will be announcing the winner tomorrow morning so be sure to stop by!


Be Kind to Yourself: The $7 Vacation

It’s that time of year, isn’t it? It feels a little like everyone and their grandma is taking a vacation.

“Where are you going on vacation?” we usually ask.

“Oh, nowhere special just the Bahamas/Hawaii/a Caribbean cruise/St. Barts/a fill-in-the-blank-exotic/tropical-locale-that-you-would-kill-to-visit.”

I know that’s not really true. A lot of us are really struggling to afford lots of things these days and a lot of the people who ARE taking exciting trips have been working and saving to make those happen.

But it was a conversation with some friends about our summer vacations (or lack thereof) that prompted…the mini-vacation. We are very thankful to have a pool in our apartment complex but I was realizing how little time we spend in it. Also very thankful that yesterday brought an entire day of sunshine to the city of Columbus! Back in Colorado, we have more sunshine than air and so I, the eternal sun baby, have learned to take it for granted. But in Ohio, you apparently have to do a special dance and sacrifice some chickens to get the sun to make an appearance (not that I tried that).

I just had this silly little epiphany that being kind to ourselves was not just the big grand week-long vacation or the tropical destination or the money we sometimes have to spend but about the peaceful hour I am fortunate to find in the day-to-day. And I thought, Hey! I can make a frozen drink and sit by the pool for next to nothing!

So yesterday, I ran over to the two cheapest places on earth, Wal*Mart and the Dollar Tree (where, in case you hadn’t heard, everything is exactly a dollar…which is, you know, crazy town for someone like me) and spent about $7 or so for an afternoon at the pool.

Strawberry margarita mix: $2.88 (in case you’re not a margarita girl like me, these babies cost about $8-14 each in a restaurant).

Drink glasses, bendy straws, leis, and tiny umbrellas: $4.79

The book I brought to read, Flapper. This one has been keeping me up late and I think it’s a great “beach read,” too! Click here to check it out on Amazon!

It took a considerable amount of cajoling (enough to make the use of that word in this post necessary) to get Kyle to wake up (after all, he didn’t get home from the night shift until after 9 AM that morning and he was exhausted). And it took all of my feminine wiles to get him to wear that lei for all of the five seconds I needed to snap this picture. And that was also the sum total of time he spent actually wearing it. Dollar. Well. Spent.

It’s a testament to how much I like all of you that I am posting a bathing suit picture. I can’t remember the last time I allowed something like this to happen!

So now I want to know…what kind of mini vacation have you taken or are planning to take? How are you being kind to yourself THIS week? And if you ARE lucky enough to be taking an extra special vacation to somewhere amazing, where are you going and what are you most excited about?

love, elizabeth

PS: If you haven’t already, click here and enter to win the Teeny-Tiny Spa giveaway! And feel free to share the link with your friends and fellow bloggers! I’d love to share it with anyone who is interested.

MY FIRST GIVEAWAY: The Teeny-Tiny Spa

In keeping with my new focus on being kind to yourself, here's a gift to help you be kind to yourself! This is my very, very FIRST giveaway!

The prize…

The Teeny-Tiny Spa

Wait, that should actually be The Teeny-Tiny Spa.

In this box, you’ll find an assortment of hand-picked things, chosen with great care and hope that they make someone feel a little extra special, including some items from one of my favorite stores, Bath & Body Works.

The Teeny-Tiny Spa includes:

- Two mini-candles (Passion Flower and Pineapple Orchid from B&BW)

-Rose bath crystals

-Cherry Blossom shower gel (B&BW)

-Striped terry facecloth

-Pumice stone heart

-Rubber ducky

And my personal favorite…

-The Bathtub Reader: an amusing miscellany for the discerning mademoiselle

This book is full of interesting anecdotes, quotes, and factoids perfect for the bathtub! For instance, did you know that the Oreo was invented in 1912? Neither did I.

How to enter: Just be a follower of this blog (or become one!) and leave a comment on this post letting me know that you are!

Bonus Entry: Follow me on twitter and tweet to let me know!

To follow this blog, click on the “Follow” button on the right side bar and then sign in so that you can officially be listed as a “follower.” You can sign in using Gmail/Google, Twitter, Yahoo!, AIM, Netlog, or OpenID.

The contest will close Thursday, June 30 at midnight and the winner will be chosen at random and announced Friday, July 1.

A Peaceful Home

One thing I’m learning is how connected a peaceful home is to a peaceful spirit. I do really love the way certain things in the house make me feel…the beautiful books…the old window frame…the painting of Kyle in the hall…my new record player…But creating a peaceful home isn’t just about the lovely things you put in it. It’s about cleanliness and organization – nothing like a sparkling stainless steel sink or a dust-free bookshelf to make me smile! But I think really, a peaceful home is mostly about the love with which you keep your home and the people in it.

What about you? What helps make your home feel peaceful?

Be Kind To Yourself

During a recent counseling session with my therapist, I began listing off all the things I hated about myself, all the ways I was sure I had failed. I wasn’t disciplined enough, I told him. I was unsure of my path. I say the wrong thing. I second-guess every relationship and friendship I have. I am constantly questioning my abilities and my feelings. There’s a drum beat in my head and it’s sounding off the same, familiar rhythm again and again. You are not good enough. You are not good enough.

My counselor smiled at me as I told him all of this and his eyes were sad. “You’re not very kind to yourself, are you?” he asked. That hit me hard.

The whole notion of “taking care of yourself” is deceptively simple. Often, I think, I say that I am. Maybe I even think that I am. I rush through the day, moving too quickly to really consider how things are hitting me, affecting me. But lately, I’ve been making a concerted effort to stop and take a real kind of inventory of my state of being. Am I being kind to myself? Am I okay? And if I’m not, is it okay that I’m not okay? Too often, I find myself stepping quickly over the most painful moments because I feel like I don’t have the time or energy to feel them or let them pass through me.

I guess that’s what this summer is about for me. I want to be kind to myself. I want to learn how to do that. I want to learn to be more patient with my heart and more gentle with my soul. I’ll be making an effort to keep blogging about the self-kindness journey. What about you? What can you do to be more kind to yourself this week?