Monday, September 26, 2011

The Monster That Should Have Ripped Us Apart

Like a lot of other blogs written by people in love, I sometimes think maybe I give off this impression that Kyle and I do nothing but go apple-picking and having picnics in the park and being super fuzzy, lovey-dovey all the time. Recently, I’ve been inspired by some of these wonderful bloggers who have been so open about their lives and relationships and I thought it was important to share some things with all of you.

I’ve alluded to this before but Kyle has some pretty serious stuff in his past, stuff that we’re still coming to grips with, working through together. If you’ve ever wondered why this blog is called “Love is an Adventure,” this is why.

Honestly, the last almost seven years together have been utterly blissful at times and at others, unbearably painful. I have questioned our decision to get married. I have longed to abandon the heartbreak and pain that we are forced to face daily. I have dreaded that soul-sorrow that stays aching in the bones.

Kyle suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (or PTSD, as it is often called). Without sharing too many of the details here, I can say that it stems from early childhood abuse at the hands of a stranger.

Kyle and I have thought before about sharing some of our experiences of healing here on the blog but it has been difficult to think of how to really talk about it in a way that might be helpful for others. I have decided to spend the better part of this week highlighting some of the lessons he and I have learned as we have struggled our way through some very dark days. Maybe what we share can shed some light on his experience of PTSD.

It’s important for me to say that no two people are alike and that no two experiences of PTSD are alike so while there are some common symptoms, reactions, triggers, and treatments, every survivor’s story is unique to him or her. We have no right or wrong answer, only many questions and some moments of hope to share. We’re not experts on PTSD, just experts of our own experiences. We share this with the hope that it may offer some encouragement to someone out there struggling like we have, like we are, like we will continue to do.

PTSD is the monster that should have ripped us apart. But God is the God who has continued to hold us together when we couldn’t see past any of it, when we couldn’t even breathe.

I hope you’ll read this week.

love, elizabeth

PS: Still time to enter the First of Fall Giveaway and win a softer-than-soft scarf!

13 comments:

Mrs. Pancakes said...

Oh Elizabeth...im glad that you and Kyle have decided to share this part of your life with the rest of us because i believe it will help someone! PTSD like other MH disorder is a monster and i am glad it didn't rip you apart but made your love so much stronger. And God is a very dependable God! Can't wait to read more.

Jennifer said...

Oh, I just love you for sharing this. I loved your honesty - especially when you said you have even questioned our decision to get married and wanting to abandon the heartbreak and pain that you have to face daily. You are full of so much integrity and though I haven't been a reader for long, I LOVE that about you. I hope to "keep it real" when I write too....I could say the same things were true for me also. I've thought about calling it quits.

I'm sorry to hear about the PTSD. Todd and I know very well about our own monsters that have tried to rip us apart, and even on a daily basis too. We all have things from our past and even our present that affect how we engage with our spouse. I love that you are both walking together here and braving these hard things as a couple.

Anxious to hear more as you both navigate through how and what you want to share. Thank the Lord for how He does hold us together!

Alana said...

It's so inspiring that you are sharing your story, and making something good out of something horrible. I can't wait to read it.

Savannah said...

This is such an amazing heart felt post, I really appreciate you sharing a more personal part of your and Kyle's life. I studied PTSD quite a bit in school and have had many friends and family who suffer from it, and I think it's wonderful that you shared some of your own experiences with this.

Janet @ Made For This said...

This truly is a GOD-STORY and I am glad that you guys are sharing it. Boldly and with the grace that God has poured into your lives. I LOVE YOU, BABY GIRL, AND MY SON-IN-LOVE KYLE!

annelise said...

:(

Can't say much more other than I think it's good to share these experiences. You just never know who is reading and gets something beneficial out of your honesty. Well done to you and Kyle.

ashley @ A Recipe for Sanity said...

Thank you very much for your honesty. I can relate to Kyle...I've also suffered from PTSD and it still continues to come up at times. It can be incredibly difficult in a relationship. It breaks my heart because Rob will do something perfectly innocent, and it will trigger something in me that is so raw and painful that it's difficult to get past it. Yet it is not his fault. I can imagine what effect this has had on your marriage.

Thank you both for sharing, and I wish you both continued healing and peace.

TiAnna Mae said...

Amen! So glad that you guys are coming against PTSD in the name of Jesus, which has kept you two together. People think they get married for the lovey dovey picking apples part, but little do they know that they really get married for times such as these. Thanks for sharing your story, and I'm excited to see what God will do with it.

Alexandria said...

There's so much emotion that I want to convey, but I feel like I can't in a comment (or even in a letter to you). But I'm glad you are sharing some of this; I know the boyfriend has a hard time dealing with my depression sometimes, so I'm hopeful some of your experiences can help us too.

I just want to give you a big hug.

Hannah {Culture Connoisseur} said...

I really appreciate your openness and honesty! I know these things will not be easy to write about, but I'm sure you'll also find comfort in knowing that you guys aren't the only ones out there going through hard time like that. There's community in great suffering...we all experience it.

Praying for you two!

Karm said...

This post is inspiring. And I love how you are honest with the topic. I am so happy you 2 found each other... love is amazing.

Sara @ Struggling Happiness said...

An invisible disease is to hard. I am so glad you guys can use this as an outlet if you so choose. I know with my invisible disease, it is tremendously helpful to just write whatever I think and feel at the moment. If you guys choose to take this blog in that direction, I know it will be terrifying, but so helpful in it's own way. Good luck! Much love!

Chloe said...

You're so brave to talk about this.
And I'm so glad and proud of you.
Thanks for sharing this with us.
Love is an adventure, it really is.

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