I was struck by a recent comment from one of my favorite bloggers. "Looks like a fabulous weekend!" she'd written. I glanced back at the post she had commented on and whole-heartedly agreed. It did look like a wonderful weekend. In fact, there was absolutely no trace of the pain and agony and heartbreak that I had actually been dealing with the last few days. That was intentional on my part. I didn't really want to reveal how hurt I'm feeling right now, how lonely I have been, how sad I am. So, of course, when my dear friend looked at it, she thought, "What a great weekend she must have had!" I did a really good job of covering up the stuff beneath the surface.
But it really convicted me. I'll confess I often find myself making judgements about people based on their blogs. I assume that everything in their life must be perfect because they're blogging about shoes or cupcakes or date nights. (What an unfair thing for me to assume!) But then I read posts like this amazing one that Jenni wrote and I remember that while our blogs should be honest, real representations of who we are, they are not the sum total of who we are. It's okay if we don't write about every personal dot and iota of our identities on our blogs. It's okay if we choose to talk about the happy, safe things even when less happy, less safe things are taking up space in our lives.
So here's my promise to each of you. I promise to think of you as a whole, entire human being with a life outside of your blog. I promise to value what you choose to share, be it cupcakes or personal confessions or anything in between. I promise to imagine the best of you when all I know is a little of you. I promise to be as real as I know how to be. You deserve that from me. Thanks for taking time to read and share the way you do. You mean a lot to me.
love, elizabeth
18 comments:
You are absolutely right. We are whole people with problems, even when we only write positive things on our blogs. For me, I tend to stop writing when things aren't going well (hence my once a week posts!). I applaud you for continuing to express yourself even when things are difficult and heartbreaking.
You are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope that God heals your heart very very soon. Love.
I know what you mean!
I wish I could write about EVERYTHING on my blog. But I can't.
Life as self-employed is great, rewarding, but also frustrating and hard, really hard. I don't want to bore my readers if I complain all the time, because I know I'm lucky I have work and earn some money from something I truly enjoy. But no one has a perfect life. :)
Excellent point. We are so much more than the sum of our blogs! I love your commitment to honesty and your acceptance of others. Yours is a great heart.
It makes me so sad to think that you're suffering from any sort of sadness underneath these posts, but it warms my heart to know that you want to be honest. It can definitely be hard sometimes to know how much we want to share on these blogs of ours. What makes us an oversharer? How little is too little? There's such a fine line sometimes. But it's your blog girl. And you can do what you want :) i'll always read.
Elizabeth, sometimes it's just nice to write about the things that make us feel happy to take a mini vacation from the things that are making us feel sad, mad, or just bad! I so much enjoy reading your blog.
It's refreshing that people don't write EVERYTHING on their blogs...because in a lot of ways real life can be depressing sometimes and blogosphere becomes a way to escape. As long as we are dealing with our hurts and loniless in real life we are the better for it in blogland! Remain blessed my friend:-) You gotta love that Jeni:-)
I agree with your post. I try to avoid posting about not so happy days.
This is such a great message. I'll admit that I also cover up sad days with happy blog posts! I am so glad I found your cute blog on Baxtron Life...I am your newest follower! I would love if you would check out my blog and if you like what you see please follow back :)
Modern Modest Beauty
LOVE this post!!! I'm a new follower!
this is a really good point - I always like to see how people handle the friction between wanting to be real and yet not just post a bunch of depressing stuff as some sort of "duty" =) I think it's something we all have to find a balance on... I don't know if we've found ours yet, we mostly lay it out there... I think we evolve as bloggers over time and I've not been at it very long this time around yet.
I know what you mean. I have a super happy post today but I sure don't want newcomers to think I've got it going on. I just don't write on the my life sucks days. Well yes I do but I make it funny. I really love your promise. I'm visiting from May Day. Happy May first!
It is hard to think beyond what we see posted or told. I have found that in all perfect is an illusion and one we as human seem to always seek. You may have just inspired me to write a poem, as a poet that happens from time to time. I hope whatever was making you sad and the hurt and pain you felt inside is healing. On day at a time and one foot in front of the other :) Thanks for sharing something so personal.
This was wonderful Elizabeth... yes, I too have learned that blogs aren't the whole picture. It helps to keep that in mind when you're tempted to be envious of that little sampling of someone's life which they choose to share.
I hope you're doing OK girl... let me know if you ever need a listening ear (or a reading eyeball, in the case of email). :)
Awe. What a sweet sweet post.
I feel the same way!
<3xojo
A friend of mine was relieved to see me in person after reading my blog. She got the impression that our life was all rainbows and puppy dogs.
It made me realize that I do blog mostly about the good stuff, not all the stuff going on in our daily lives.
This way when I look back I remember the good. :)
YES! It's so easy to cover up all the things you don't want to share and it makes things appear as though life is perfect. I wish I could get more real on my blog - I try my best but I do worry about the 'real life' friends and family that read it. So unfortunately a lot of it has to be censored. Sometimes I wonder if I am letting people know the real me - or just this version that seems to laugh everything off. Because I totally don't.
And ummm.. yes I like to ramble.
Great great post. Thank you.
I love you and your blog. So many bloggers try to make the internet into this happy little separate world that doesn't have anything scary or sad in it, but I hate that. I would much rather read about people's real experiences dealing with their real lives than cookie cutter outfit posts and scheduled linkups that are the same thing week after week. Where's the comfort in pretending everything's fine? When you're sad and dealing with hurt, why wouldn't you reach out to a community that is there and waiting for you to trust fall into their cyber arms?
I'm just saying. Blogging is better when it isn't fake. :)
I love this post (and Jenni's blog!) because it's so true and is something that I know just about every blogger has touched on at some point or another. I get comments all the time from friends and family back home about how much fun my life must be, and I tell them I only blog about the fun things! I gotta remember that for every day that I don't blog about, other people are having similar (or worse) issues and it's not fair to compare my life to their pretty pictures.
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