Monday, October 22, 2012

The best and worst thing about being married

Lynd4

 

There is nothing like a late-night phone call to remind you that life is fragile, time is short, and no one but God knows the future.

The other night, in the middle of a small family crisis, I was reminded of that thing that is so hard to explain about marriage. Sitting on the floor next to Kyle as he made frantic phone calls to various family members, watching his forehead wrinkle in worry, his calloused fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, his mouth pursed in a hard line, I thought, “This is what is so hard about being married. You aren’t just sharing a house, a bank account, a last name…you’re taking on every fear, every crisis, every unknown as if it was yours at birth.” There’s something frightening about that and comforting, too.

“I’m scared,” I whispered in Kyle’s ear.

He nodded.

I squeezed his hand. “I’m here,” I said. “I’ll be here no matter what, okay?”

“Yeah,” he said.

Somehow marriage doubles our fears and halves them at the same time.

A couple weeks ago, Kyle took me to dinner and I poured out my stresses on him. “I’m worried about this exam,” I told him. “I have so much to read and it feels like the time is slipping away and I’m not doing enough.”

“Just remember you’re not all alone,” he said. “I’m right here.”

Every joy is doubled; every pain is, too. And still, it makes me feel braver as we sit here on the floor by the couch, our shoulders and heads bent towards each other, waiting to hear good news, or bad news, or any news, at all. The best part and the worst part about being married is sitting here, holding your hand in the dark.

love, elizabeth

10 comments:

Ashley @ A Recipe for Sanity said...

We've been going through the same thing this year with Rob's family. Every tough time we've had has been "ours" to bear together. It truly is the best and worst thing about love.

Nomali/Minenhle said...

These are the sad and beautiful things about companionship. To have someone to share the joy like it's their own and bear the scars of your pain like that too is theirs.

I hope you and Kyle get good news.

Brooke said...

Love this post! It's so true - when you get married, you get twice the troubles but half the pain from those troubles at the same time.

Mrs. Pancakes said...

You are so wonderful with words Elizabeth and this is sooo true!! Hope all is well with Kyle family!!

Jaclyn Armstrong said...

So sweet... and so true.

Alex said...

I love hearing these things from you. These are the things I hope to one day learn myself in marriage :)

Jenni@Story of My Life said...

Beautiful Elizabeth.. such truth. I hope all goes well for you guys... will be thinking of you.

EJ said...

Such a touching post. Well said, well expressed - just... well done.

My thoughts and prayers are with both of you and your family.

Abi K. said...

This is so true, we have been through similar situations. How comforting is to know that you have someone next to you that loves you and cares deeply.
I am your new follower, feel free to stop by my blog and follow :)

www.abi-asaturdaymorning.blogspot.com

Abi K

Emily said...

You always know just how to say things. I love how you and Kyle are an unending source of support for each other. Hope everything is okay!

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