Last week, I read
this post by Jennifer over at
There is a Season and it reminded me of a strange moment I had over the last holiday weekend. Kyle had gone to work and I was decorating the Christmas tree, alone, in my big fuzzy red slippers, listening to Michael Buble on repeat. I had had plans to spend time with a friend for the evening but she had cancelled at the last minute and as I strung string after string of lights, I began to feel sorry for myself. I imagined how fun it would be to decorate with someone else around. I turned up the music. I made a mental list of all the people in Ohio I could call and ask to hang out. It was a short list. I danced around a little. I imagined Kyle
not at work but sitting on the couch telling me how pretty everything looked. I had a conversation with the dog. I moved the Christmas tree three inches to the left. Two inches to the right. And then I blurted the question right out into the stillness of our apartment. The question I had been dreading asking.
"Am I lonely?"
No one answered.
The point of this post isn't really to say that I'm lonely. It's a more of a realization that I haven't been taking stock of my own feelings. I'd been so busy rushing around, filling up the day, I hadn't taken the time to consider what sort of heart-hole I was trying to fill.
What about you? Had any surprising realizations lately?
love, elizabeth
