I was reading a couple blogs this morning and it made me think a lot about bravery and about what makes me brave.
I'll just start by saying I am NOT a risk-taker and I never have been. If it's illegal or against the rules, if it involves sharp corners, great heights, or hazardous material, if it requires me to succeed athletically or physically, if there is absolutely any potential for physical harm or possibility of repurcussions from an authority figure, chances are good that I haven't tried it. I can't even count the number of times I have been told I was "too cautious," "a goody-goody," and even "boring." Ask Kyle what drives him the craziest and he'll probably tell you it's my inability to back-seat drive him everywhere (slow down, that's a cop, turn on your signal, where are your wipers, the music is too loud). I swear, I could try the patience of a saint (or two).
The fact is, I have both an overactive fear of authority and an overactive imagination (I am constantly calculating the risk involved in everything). Not only is this exhausting for me (and everyone around me, I'm sure), but I know that I am really NOT taking God at His word.
"I've got this," He says.
"Okay, yeah, but I'll just...help you hold it up, okay?"
"No, really, Elizabeth. I've GOT this."
But when I met Kyle almost seven years ago...something totally unexpected happened. I got really brave. I kind of stepped out into this incredible unknown and though I ponder it from time to time, I can't really figure out why I took the risk. Pretty much everything about my relationship with Kyle has required an amount of bravery. If you've been following this blog for awhile, you probably have heard about a lot of that.
What I've realized, though, is that a huge part of the reason I fell in love with Kyle was that he was just so brave. So bold. Daring. Maybe a little stupid. Kyle is the guy that used to skateboard off of roofs in high school and shock himself with a dog collar "just to see what it would feel like." I suppose the line between foolhardiness and courage is pretty thin but WOW! What a brave guy. I admire his physical strength and his agility and his utter willingness to throw himself so completely into things. Snowboard on a double black diamond? "Sure!" Innertube down the Yampa? "No problem!" Fall in love and propose to a girl five months later? "Sounds good!"
It would take me the rest of the day to list all the things I have tried since I have been with Kyle - things I never felt courageous enough to do before. But I am reminded today that love has made this too-cautious-too-careful-goody-goody-scaredy-cat BRAVE.
So what makes YOU brave? What would you like to be braver about?
3 comments:
Oh wow this is a great post! Love definitely is an adventure. Mr. Pancakes has helped me to own my authority in my job which has been awesome because I'm usually reserved at work. Thank goodness for good husbands!
I think I became more brave and more assertive because Rob is so shy and reserved. When we became a couple, I suddenly became the adventurous, spontaneous one...and that has never been me. I think love really does make us brave.
By the way, your comment on my blog yesterday totally made my day! I have to go reply to it now! ;)
I just came up on your blog recently. I really like it! :) I can relate to you being afraid of things and comming off as a goody-goody. That's me to a T. haha! I always wish I could just let go and do something with out thinking... "but..What if this or what if that??" Maybe I need a "Kyle" to balance me out?
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