It’s been awhile since I’ve addressed you directly. What can I say? I’ve been on va-cay, having some serious me-time. But events have transpired and I feel I should break my blog silence.
You know how you think something is a good idea and then it really isn’t? But it’s too late because you’ve already said, “Oh, hey, yeah, it’s totally cool if you give me a hair cut”? I’ll admit it. I was getting furry. But who doesn’t like to let it all hang out in the summertime?
But my mom was all like, “Oh, Madigan, it’s so hot, let me give you a haircut, it’ll be super easy, do you want a treat?” And I was all like, “Sure, yeah, whatever,” totally not even KNOWING what I was agreeing to. Have you ever seen a picture that made you think, “OMG, someone please invent time travel”??? Here I am in the bathroom, awaiting my fate. So naïve, so innocent. So blissfully ignorant.
And then…stuff got real.
Why don’t they just legally change my name to Patches or Bald Spot or The Dog Who Foolishly Believed Her Owners and Let Them Give Her a “Trim” and get it over with? I told Mom if she was that interested in saving money on haircuts, I would be more than happy to cut her bangs for her. Revenge is so sweet.
You know you love me.
PS: I’m on a GG marathon right now, peeps. Sue me.