“Will you make fun of me if I admit I got us lost?”

I asked finally.

“No…but we are definitely going the wrong way.”

“Yeah. I think you’re right.”

Feeling safe enough to admit you’re wrong is like hitting the marriage jackpot. Until I learned to really trust Kyle, I was afraid of being wrong, of screwing up, of being less than perfect. But I can say now, with a sigh of relief, that it’s okay if I’m wrong. It’s okay if I get lost. Because my husband isn’t going to laugh. And he’s not going to be mad. He’s going to help me get turned back around. With Kyle, I can finally say I’m learning to love being wrong.

What about you? What do you feel safe enough to do in your relationships?

love, elizabeth

Making My Own Sunshine

Source: Uploaded by user via Elizabeth on Pinterest

Yesterday, I talked about suffering from seasonal affective disorder (you can read that post here).

I want to talk about fighting it. I have to consistently remind myself that while the weather is out

of my control, I can exert control over some pretty important things. I call it my battle plan.

Eating right. Part of my effort to fight SAD this winter is to make a conscious effort to eat good,

high-nutrition food instead of blowing through empty carbohydrates in an effort to control my

mood (especially in the evening). I started Weight Watchers just before the new year and so

far, I’ve felt really successful at managing my mood swings and cravings. WW is great for me

because I don’t feel like I have to deny myself when I’m hungry but it’s great for helping me

determine portions.

Creating safe refuge space. Keeping the apartment neat and the clutter to a minimum keeps

me from feeling overwhelmed at night (when I’m more likely to be depressed and anxious).

Comforting scents. Along with some woodsy, cozy candles, I’ve been using more scented

lotion this winter. I’ve noticed that smell has a lot to do with my mood. And though I tend to

stay away from fruitier or more tropical smells, I’ve been using lotion with coconut in it because

it reminds me of sunscreen (and inevitably, the beach).

Strategic lighting. I avoid fluorescent or harsh lighting at night and instead opt for softer lamps

and candles after dark. I’m also trying a combination of grow/sun lamps for short intervals in lieu

of actual sunshine. Eventually, I may have to try professional light treatment through my doctor

but I’m going to try this for a little while first.       

Not leaving important decisions/difficult work for late at night. As a grad student, this is difficult

but I’m trying to change my study habits to manage my depression.  

Making fun plans with people. It gets easy to isolate myself in the winter but I’m working hard to stay

involved with friends and make time for fun outings with Kyle and other couples.

And if all else fails…fantasize about how amazing spring break is going to be in Myrtle Beach.

If I close my eyes tight enough, I can almost feel the rays. March can’t come fast enough.

Source: imgfave.com via Elizabeth on Pinterest

love, elizabeth

Black Friday: Shop Safe, Sane, and Sensational

1. Give yourself plenty of time to park.

Nothing is more frustrating to the harried holiday shopper than the endless searching for a parking spot outside the crowded mall, outlet, shopping center, big box store, or downtown. And while walking from the outer regions of Siberia where you parked your car may suck, nothing will ruin your Black Friday like one of those fender bender/side scrape run-ins with the gigantic SUV parked too close to you.

2. Budget earlier in the week and stick to your plan.

Remember that 42” plasma screen isn’t really a good deal if you weren’t planning on buying a new television, at all. Buying something that isn’t on your list doesn’t actually save you any money. And sometimes all the hustle and bustle and good smells and cheerful music make us emotional.

3. Dress for comfort.

You know those incredible boots that make your calves look fantastic but your feet want to fall off? Leave ‘em home and stick to cozy sneakers for those long, long lines you’ll be waiting in. Layer for warmth and leave the heavy coats in the car. Those department stores get toasty fast!

4. Scan ads before you plan your day to get an idea of prices and deals.

Here are two of my favorite online sources for Black Friday ads: HERE and HERE. It’s easy to get lost in the rush and if you’re looking for something specific, you may wind up frustrated and disheartened.

5. People first, things second. Always.

Courtesy and kindness are always the way to go! We all hear the horror stories of pushy shoppers trampled to death in a mad rush to get whatever amazing deal is being offered to the first 8 people in line. But if you have to risk your humanity, your sanity, or your personal safety to score the bargain, consider the true cost before you dive into the fray. No thing is that important. After all, it’s Christmas.

I mentioned a few posts ago that my family is exchanging books only this year so most of my shopping is done but I AM making a short Black Friday trip for some stocking stuffers and a couple Secret Santa gifts.

So lay it on me. Are you a Black Friday fanatic? What are your shopping traditions? Any tips and tricks to share?

love, elizabeth

Backstage

I don’t post too much about theatre on the blog but I’ve been working backstage all summer and I kept noticing these great images from around the space. I thought you all might like to take a peek.

This is an old light body in storage. A light body is used to measure shadow and light on stage when a show is being designed.

There is nothing in the world that smells as wonderful as the backstage of a theatre. Like paint and sawdust and whispers. Whispers have a smell. I bet you didn’t know that.

The following images are of a ghost light. Supposedly, ghost lights were originally lit in theatres so that the ghosts could move around when the theatre was dark after a show. More practically, we use ghost lights in any unlit performance space so that people don’t trip on wires or fall into the orchestra pit in the dark.

I could be having the most confusing, depressing, difficult day but when I step into a theatre…it’s like it all falls away. Nothing seems so bad or hard or desperate there.

What about you? What spaces in your life make you feel safe?

love, elizabeth