impossible until it’s not

This was in my fortune cookie the other night.

The hard things keep coming, don’t they? Sometimes I stare at the calendar and think, There is no way I will make it to May. There is no way I will make it through next week. I am so quick to jump ahead to all the things in the universe I can’t imagine shouldering right now. If we got a bill for x amount of dollars, I could not pay it. If I had to turn in my dissertation prospectus tomorrow, I wouldn’t be ready. If a giant robot took over Columbus and forced all humans underground, I wouldn’t have enough bottled water to keep us alive.

I am learning to trust. It’s slow but I’m learning. I try to think back to the all the impossible things I’ve done. Passing my candidacy exam felt impossible. It felt huge, insurmountable. But I did it. Step by step. It’s not as if one minute I was a PhD student and the next I was a PhD candidate. It was night after day after night of reading. It was one exam day at a time, one sentence at a time, one question at a time, one book at a time. It was impossible…until the moment it wasn’t.

I am struggling not to leap ahead to the next impossible thing I can’t imagine overcoming. Some days, I feel scared out of my  mind by how much feels impossible. But that is not how we are supposed to live. That is not how I want to live. 

Things are only impossible…until they are not.

love, elizabeth

Lunch Date

When you’ve seen another person through some of the best and worst days of their life, the conversation seems to move from the present to the past and back without much effort. When Beth and I were talking over coffee yesterday, we started reminiscing about college, some of the good stuff, and some of the painful stuff, too. We laughed about things and then were surprised that we could laugh.

"Wow,” Beth said and smiled that smile she remembers something, “That’s the gift of time, I guess.”

And that just really stayed with me for the rest of the day and for the drive of home. Time is a gift. It helps us let go and it helps us hold on. And it made me realize that, when it comes to my friendship with Beth, no one makes me laugh like Beth, no one is quiet with me like Beth, no one else can do Gossip Girl impressions with me like Beth, no one understands me like Beth, and the most important thing she has ever given me is her time.

Living hours away from my best friend who, like me, has been in graduate school for the last three years means that when we both find time to sneak away and hang out for a few hours, we leap. So yesterday, we met in Cincinnati for lunch at Findlay’s Market. Findlay’s is the oldest public market in Ohio and reminds me a lot of North Market in Columbus. There were so many amazing building murals and great doorways to photograph so Beth had to put up with a bajillion pictures (the perils of hanging around a blogger).

So talk to me about the gift of time in your life. What has time allowed you to do, overcome, or become?

love, elizabeth

moh-tuh-vey-shuhn, noun, from the medieval latin mōtīvus

Uhhh, you know how bloggers, lots of bloggers, get into a rhythm and a schedule? Like they post every day and they plan ahead and work it all out? This is not one of those posts. I just needed someone to talk to.

I am really flagging when it comes to my personal motivation lately. I have a reading list the size of Mars and the end of summer is looming ALREADY and I can’t summon the energy to clean the apartment or empty my inbox or study or ANYTHING. I want to be successful, I want to buckle down and get stuff done. But right now I feel like I’m just watching the calendar pages floating away like they do on old Saturday morning cartoons and I just want to stop the clock for another five or six weeks. WHEW.

I just needed to get that out there into the universe. This weekend, I plan to clean the apartment until it squeaks. And then maybe that reading list will seem more manageable somehow. I just can’t think inside the mess.

Alright. Make me feel better. What helps you get re-motivated when you’re in a slump?

love, elizabeth

More of This

Instead of television, which I have given up in case you missed this post, I want to...

Do more of this...

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(Maybe I won't always wear heels but hey, gotta look good for the books.)

And this...

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Hopefully some of this...

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(Both the cooking and the making out with my husband part. Yeah.)

And finally...



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What about you? What kinds of things occupy your not-plugged-in time?

love, elizabeth

My Hour

How much can I actually get done in an hour? We’re going to find out.

This year, this January anyway, I’m implementing “the one-hour system.” With graduate school and Kyle’s crazy hours and church and outside obligations, it’s easy to lose sight of the house, of the laundry, the dishes, of making meals, and other daily chores. I’m committing to using the one-hour system Monday-Friday for at least this month.

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The rules are…

• I get one hour a day. Knowing myself, it will probably be an early evening hour, maybe around 4 or 5.
• During that hour, no internet, no television, no studying, no working out.
• Instead, during my hour, I can take Madigan for a walk, make dinner, pick up around the apartment, do a load of laundry, keep up with my new filing system and/or any other household maintenance.
• I’m trying to make this hour a fun thing – I can listen to some of my dance albums on vinyl. I can have a cup of coffee. I can call my mom. All as long as I keep myself busy being productive around the apartment.
• When the hour is up, it’s up. I have to wait until tomorrow’s hour to work again. Then I can turn my attention to my (no doubt plentiful) homework and study and hopefully squeeze in a work-out.

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One hour. How much do you think you could get done if you really gave yourself a whole hour?

love, elizabeth