today I am not here

I am somewhere in the sky probably or sitting in an airport somewhere. I’m flying home to Colorado today to spend some time with my family. And don’t worry – as per usual, I will be documenting every eensy teensy moment of the trip! Expect some pictures from the most beautiful mountains in the world (although the fires are really bad this year so we’ll see if that limits travel in any way).

Since I’m traveling today, I asked if Sarah would write over here today. It struck me that I talk about Sarah pretty much all the time but I never really talk about how we met. So she said she would.

 

Once upon a time in middle school, there was a girl named Sarah who lived in Colorado, and there was another girl named Elizabeth who had just moved to Colorado. They were both in Awana and they both hated game time and they met when they were trying to make the other one go ahead of her in the kickball line. They spent the rest of the evening bonding over the fact that they had both loved Star Wars and had both read a book called The Courtship of Princess Leia. This made them nerds, but they didn't know it yet. (They know now, and they don't care.) And then they were in high school, and there was Drama, and then some more Drama, and it involved other people who are not as cool as Sarah or Elizabeth, and it was all very stupid and high school-ish (as one might expect of high schoolers), but they stayed friends. And then Elizabeth went to college like a grown-up, and they didn't see each other as much. Then Elizabeth got married, and Sarah was a bridesmaid, which was a pretty big deal. And there was Wedding Drama, because there's probably no such thing as a wedding without drama, but it was okay, because everything was beautiful. And then Sarah went to college like a grown-up and they were far away from each other and didn't talk very much. They saw each other on breaks and that was all. But they stayed friends. One summer, Sarah went to visit Elizabeth at college, and while she was there, she got a tattoo. It was a bonding moment. Then it was the summer after Sarah's junior year of college and she met Elizabeth at Barnes & Noble and that was the first time they talked about feminism. And that would become a Big Deal to Sarah later on, because the conversations they had that summer totally changed the way she looked at the world. And then Sarah graduated and was living in Colorado again, and Elizabeth moved away to Ohio, and it was sad. And then Sarah said, "you need to get on MSN messenger more often." And then they started chatting all the time. Pretty much like every single day. And then Sarah was like, "We should upgrade to Skype, so we can feel like people who are living in the 21st century." So after Sarah taught Elizabeth how Skype works, that's what they did. And they still talk every day. Literally. And every day they don't talk feels really, really weird, because they're best friends, and have been since that one night at church when Elizabeth said, "I read this book about Princess Leia, where she and Han get married. It's really good," and Sarah said, "oh yeah, I've read that too."

And then in the summer of 2012, Elizabeth told Sarah that she was going to be visiting Colorado at the end of June, and Sarah got really, really, really happy, and stayed that way for a long time. And then Elizabeth was like, "Sarah, can you write a guest post on my blog for the day I'm flying back to Colorado?"

And Sarah was like, "Okay, what should I write?"

And Elizabeth said, "Well, it could be your thoughts on airports or on coming home when you've been away for a long time or why Colorado is better than Ohio or why we're friends. Or whatever you want."

And Sarah said, "Okay. I'll write something good."

Here are my thoughts on airports: There is a feeling in airports that you don't get anywhere else. It's a feeling of connection. The people you see in airports past the security lines, when you're at the gates, those are people who have stories, just by virtue of being there. Airports are different planets (and I'm not just saying that because of how trippy DIA is with its freemason murals and demon horse statues and underground alien colonies). When you're at your gate in an airport, it's not weird to ask a stranger about their journey. Where are you going? Where have you been? What was it like? Was the food good? And when something goes wrong and your flight gets delayed because of weather there are automatically people around you who understand the exact feeling you are experiencing at that moment. I just want to get to where I need to be. And everyone is thinking that - I mean, everyone in the world is, everywhere, not just in airports. But in those moments you share it with a specific group. And after you've waited and waited and then they get up and tell you it's time to start boarding, the look on everyone's face at your gate is the same one of relief. Finally. Finally. Finally. We're going. We're moving. I'm on my way.

Here are my thoughts on coming home when you've been away for long time: This is a feeling I'm overwhelmingly familiar with, because I went to school in Texas. For a lot of the time I was there, I was miserable, and while I didn't cry my freshman year when my parents left me at the dorm, I cried a lot every single other time I had to say goodbye to them, even after I had a car and I would leave to drive away. I just missed them. And I don't consider this a failing of mine, I don't consider it pathetic. I consider it allowing myself to feel the way I really feel, to let myself be the person who was raised by those people and who loves them and knows they are loved by them and is grateful for it. To let myself be a little kid again, just for a while. I never want to lose that, and I never want to not be able to appreciate the feeling of coming home again. When I was on the plane flying home last Christmas, I couldn't stop smiling and I couldn't stop shaking and I couldn't not cry. Home is the place that makes you feel like that.

Here are my thoughts on Colorado being better than Ohio:

 

Here is why Elizabeth and I are friends: The first time I ever heard the term "kindred spirits" was when Elizabeth's mom told me that's how Elizabeth described me to her after we first met. I've never been able to think of her as anything less than that. Right now she is on a plane, and she is flying to Colorado, and I can't wait to see her. We're going to hang out and take pictures and do things and talk about everything and laugh, a lot. And after her visit is over, she'll fly back to Ohio, and then we'll go back to talking to each other on Skype every day. And we'll stay friends, and stay friends, and stay friends.

Want to spend more time with Sarah? Too bad. She’s mine. But I guess you can read her blog if you want. It’s called Sarahcastically. Go there.

love, elizabeth