Saturday, May 19, 2012

I Interrupt Your Stories Because I Love You


Alright, serious relationship talk. I need to know if I am the only person who does this.

We spent last night with our young marrieds small group from church. And towards the end of the night, the youth pastor started teasing me about the way I constantly interject in Kyle’s stories.

Here’s an example:

Kyle: I grew up in Colorado.

Elizabeth: Steamboat Springs.

Kyle: Yeah, Steamboat Springs. So I like winter sports and stuff.

Elizabeth: He’s been snowboarding for ten years.

Kyle: I used to do a lot more dangerous things…probably gave my mom a heart attack.

Elizabeth: He skateboarded off a roof one time.

Kyle: Yeah, I broke some toes.

Elizabeth: All of his toes.

Kyle: All of my toes.

And while that’s like…hopefully exaggerated slightly, I know I do that.

Here’s the thing – I don’t do it because I want to talk more. I just want people to really know all the cool details of Kyle’s stories. And sometimes…well, sometimes I just think, HE’S TELLING IT WRONG!!

Part of me thinks I should just learn to shut up. Part of me thinks it’s part of our relationship dynamic. I definitely notice that I do it more in situations where I really, really want other people to like Kyle, to think he’s as great as I do (which, in all fairness, is probably impossible). That doesn’t mean it isn’t incredibly annoying. And while Kyle has repeatedly said he doesn’t mind…I’m still pondering my need to control the situation.

So now I want to know…any other spouses or partners out there find it really hard not to want to ‘help’ tell a story?  Anyone have the opposite problem? Is YOUR spouse extra ‘helpful’? If you do this in your relationship, where does that motivation come from?

Ugh. Marriage.

love, elizabeth


Jackie said...

Ha! I absolutely do this!!!!
My husband, B, is a pretty understated guy. He almost never gets excited about stories he's telling, and he ALWAYS leaves out the best parts. So, I always have to interject and remind him of the good stuff that he's forgetting to tell. I'm totally with you on this one. It's not because I want to be the center of attention, it's just to help him get the most out of his story! Luckily, he doesn't find me too annoying. ;)


Faith said...

The opposite over here! I want Sean to downplay the stories, lol.

Mrs. White said...

I find my husband and I BOTH do this. My mom says that we speak our own language most of the time. This comes from pretty much spending every waking moment we can together and not having any other. So every story we have is involving the other person somehow. Or at least that's my thought {haha}. I'm an easily excitable person, and usually we tell funny stories, and sometimes I forget things, or I think he's not got a detail right or we need an extra little umph to keep it interesting, but yes, we tend to go back and forth on any story, regardless of who's 'telling' it.

Also, if your hubby tells you it doesn't bother him, I would most likely tend to believe it truly doesn't bother him. Besides, I think you'd be able to tell if it did ;)

Mrs. White

MeghanSara said...

I interrupt ALL my boyfriend's stories. But apparently, that's charming, because the interrupt-y way we tell stories keeps getting us cast as "cute young couple" in commercials (for K-Y, and Tiffany's, etc). Not necessarily a bad thing, then!

Becky [This Road Called Vida] said...

YES! I definitely do this... Only thing is, it annoys my husband 75% of the time. So, I've had to train myself to keep my pie hole shut and just let the man tell his stories in his drawn out, slow motion, lackluster way. I love him but he has this amazing ability to give SO many details that the story gets completely boring after about a full minute of him speaking. So, I guess my issue is I don't want people to think he's as boring as he sounds at that point in time... When, in fact, I don't think anyone else cares about the way he tells stories as much as I do. =) Loved this post! So funny and I can totally relate!

A Spinster's Guide to Dating said...

It's hard when you're such a good storyteller because you want to tell everyone else's stories. I have found myself having to bite my tongue a lot lately saying, "Let them finish. Let them finish." When all I want to do is say it the way it "should" be told. Such a creative post.

p.s. We are having a giveaway on the Spinsters blog. Come check it out.

Ashley @ A Recipe for Sanity said...

I want to do it sometimes, but I really try to let Rob do his own talking and speak for himself. I don't discuss it on my blog, but Rob has Asperger's Syndrome, so for us it's really important that when he does tell a story to someone, I let him do it and express himself in his own way. And as much as I want to do it, I've always had this feeling that doing that to him made him look bad in a he couldn't speak for himself. But I think it's a pretty common thing. :) As long as Kyle doesn't mind, you're good, right?

Nomali/Minenhle said...

I do that a LOT and I suspect when (if) I finally get a partner I'll interrupt all his stories,it's not I like hearing my voice it's as you said I would want people to hear all about the awesomery that is my guy. AND I think I have a knack for telling stories...

Love from Jo'burg

Karm said...

hahaha you two are amazing!
I love this post!!

Alana said...

Oh my gosh, YES! My problem is that I want Mike to SUMMARIZE or at least get to the point for goodness sake, but he likes to give all these meaningless details and go into backstory which (in my opinion) no one cares about. Ok, that was harsh. I think it's because he was an only child (with his whole family hanging on his every word) and I was the middle child who learned to cut to the chase.

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